It all starts with the first email to a woman. For most guys, meeting women begins with emailing a woman and going from there. There are steps to take in getting a date or getting laid. After getting a response on your initial email to a girl, you then must take these steps towards meeting her…
- Keep the email conversation interesting
- Convince her to chat with you over IM
- Impress her with some stimulating conversation over IM
- Ask her to meet you in person when the time is right
What’s Wrong With a Friendly “Hey What’s Up” Note on Your First Email to a Woman?
A lot is wrong with it! Imagine being an attractive female on a dating site. You get 50 messages in a day from guys all saying basically the same thing (“hey what’s up”). How do you decide which ones to respond to? If you respond to them all, it will take you a few hours and then even more time once those guys respond back. So you have to be selective, if not choosing guys at random to respond back to. There’s no other way to do it.
So when you’re sending a “hey what’s up” message to a girl, you’re going to be just one of a million. Your response rate will be very low if this is your strategy. So what’s a better emailing strategy? Being completely different. But not different in a way that’s annoying and rude. Different in a way that convinces her she needs to hit you back right away to find out more about you.
That’s really the goal of a first email; to build intrigue. You want her to think, “hey, this guy seems kind of interesting, I better say hello”. The goal shouldn’t be to get her digits right away, which is something many guys attempt to do. Women aren’t just going to give out their number right away to some random stranger. You have to work for it first.
Our 3 Most Failed Emails to Women on Dating Sites
It’s not hard to believe these emails didn’t work. Our response rate using these 3 introductory emails was BELOW 20%. What’s wrong with them? They’re not original, creative, and they do nothing to convince women responding is a necessity…
“Hi there how are you doing? I saw your profile and thought you looked really pretty. I’d like to get to know you more. What are you doing this weekend? Maybe we could get together for some dinner? Take care!”
“Damn girl! Talk about a freakin’ hottie! Not going to lie, I’ve been having a lot of dirty thoughts just thinking about you! How’s about you and I chat/text later tonight. I can give you my digits if you’d like. Bye sexy!!”
“This site was getting really boring but I’m glad I found you because you seem really cool and you’re super sexy. Hit me up later babe!”
Our 3 Most Successful Emails to Women on Dating Sites
The emails above were terrible. But the emails below were very successful. Nearly 90% of the women we messaged sent us a response to these. What’s so good about them? They don’t appear canned (we included a comment specific to the content of their profile), we included some mild humor, and they’re different than 99% of the emails women receive on dating sites…
“While everyone else is sending you immature messages, I’m going to ask you about your love of traveling. You said in your profile that you’re always traveling the world to see different places and cultures. I think that’s cool and something I’ve always wanted to do. I was thinking about taking a vacation in a couple of months. Any good ideas on where I can go? What I’m looking for is a place with a lot of booze, warm weather, booze, scenery, and…booze!”
“Is it me or are we a perfect match? I was checking out your profile and although there’s no doubt you’re way out of my league in terms of looks, I believe we would connect well on an emotional level. Our interests match up well and it seems your smartass personality will mesh with mine. I’m a smartass and proud. In fact, I think I could out-smartass you. Care to take me on in a pointless, out-smartassing competition?”
“Okay, so you claim to be a great cook. So I’m going to offer you up a friendly challenge. The challenge is to come over to my place right now and cook me the most amazing steak and potatoes I’ve ever had. If you succeed, you get the privilege of going out on a date with me. If you don’t succeed…I’ll still let you go out on a date with me! I’m really just looking for someone to cook me lunch right now because I’m feeling too lazy to cook my own! All kidding aside, can I indulge you in a nice Instant Message conversation this evening?”
Feel free to copy and paste these emails and use them for yourself. Just make sure you cut out certain parts and change them to specifically match the interests of the girl you’re messaging. It’s very important to be original in an email. It’s equally important to bring up something she talked about in her profile because it will show her you’re not just sending out hundreds of canned email messages and actually took the time to read her profile.