I absolutely dread meeting the parents. I just hate doing it. It never goes well. I’m always worried that I won’t be good enough for them. And then either she’ll leave me or I’ll have to hear about how Dad thought I wouldn’t “fit in with this family”. That’s translation for “we think he’s a fucking loser”. So if I don’t feel I’m completely ready to meet the folks or I never want to meet the folks, I’ve always got a decent excuse to get out of it.
I’m going to give you a few ideas on what to say to your girl, but before I do that I want to cover excuses you SHOULDN’T use (for obvious reasons). The worst excuse is you don’t want to meet her parents. Many of us are very connected to our families. She might take this offensively. Another bad excuse is to tell a lie she would never believe. For example, telling her that you can’t meet the folks because you have to rescue your brother from the Mexican Cartel isn’t going to fly. Good excuses aren’t usually true but they’re believable, such as the following…
Legit Excuses She’ll Believe
“I have too much work tonight”
This excuse only works for certain people. If you work a 9-5 job and she knows you never bring your work home, you can’t use this excuse. But if you’re self-employed or occasionally/regularly bring your work home, this is your best excuse. How can she counter that argument? No decent woman is going to prevent you from working. Women love money!
“My mom is sick, I need to help take care of her”
This is another excuse that only some of you can get away with. If she’s met your mother, this probably won’t work. Why? Because she may contact her to send her well wishes. But if she’s never met your mom, it’s unlikely she will contact her out of the blue. Of course, if your mom is cool, you can always give her the heads-up and let her know to back you up just in case your girl gets snoopy.
“I’m not feeling very good”
Faking sick is one of the best ideas. But it requires being a decent actor. I’ve never been good at this. I wasn’t good at it when I was a kid and didn’t want to go to school because there was a Math test I hadn’t prepared for. My parents never believed me. So you had better be a hell of a lot better at pretending to be sick than I am or she’ll see through your bullshit. Fake illnesses that are believable. “I think I’m coming down with cancer” isn’t the smartest idea. The best illness to fake is the flu.